Satisfying our Needs

Facebook has always a really negative connotation for me. Mainly because of it's addictive qualities. Other than that I have had many great past times that were spent on Facebook and other social media like Skype, Windows messenger, Bebo and Snapchat. Saying that social media was a favourite pastime seems a degrading claim but it's not as anti-social as it sounds, in fact it was quite the opposite. For the most part of my life I probably could have done without these social media tools because all the people I needed to talk to were a part of my daily life and interactions anyway. This changed a lot when a started gaining friends who lived far away, but most especially when I moved countries. I can confidently say that if it weren't for social media I would not be friends with some of the people that are now an enormous part of my life. No, I did not meet these people online. I did however form unique friendships that I otherwise would not have. 

I have one instance where I went to an EFY and met this guy who I didn't speak much to but when I did I was really engaged in our conversation. We parted ways, likely to never talk again, that is if we didn't have Facebook. We communicated on Facebook for weeks after, then on Skype, and sometimes even through email. This communication lasted months before we planned to meet up again. In the three years that I have known my best friend we have only been in the same city for a total of 1.5 months. This friendship would not even have started, let alone, developed had it not been for social media. He is now my best friend and satisfying one of those three basic psychological needs in me – Relatedness. He and many other of my friends satisfy this need by keeping the relationship going even in physical absence. 

The times I cherish while using social media have not been times that I scrolled endlessly through the news feed to admire the lives of others, or times that I looked through entire photo albums on other peoples pages – these are the times I regret. The times I remember and times that I wouldn’t take back were hilarious conversations, deep personal conversations, shared links that had left a lasting impression and many more interactions. It’s true, like the Psychological study suggested that for the most part I scroll through Facebook expressionless, but whenever I am communicating with friends and family it is obvious that I am doing more than just typing. I am socializing in a way because my emotions are heightened, my facial expressions change constantly, I’m often given strange looks for my facial expressions in response to something a friend said and I find myself laughing out loud, not just in text. All-in-all I am actually very grateful for these social media tools. I know I would not have known any better had I never had them, but even knowing the consequences those come more so as a result of my lack of self-will to restrain myself. I know I can use social media in an effective and beneficial way if I am careful.